


We'll make it out alive

by mischief_managed_7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chronic Illness, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Panic Attacks, no main character dies because it's my fic and i say so, yes it's a pandemic AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief_managed_7/pseuds/mischief_managed_7
Summary: And they were roommates. In quarantine.Sirius and Remus meet in a night class they are both taking, and become friends (or maybe more?).Lily and James are nurses at the same hospital.Then a global pandemic hits, forcing both couples to move in together...
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

_19 February 2020, Brighton_

"Two ginger mint teas, with plenty of honey, please." Sirius glanced back at Remus, his skinny frame looking even smaller next to their pile of textbooks. "And we'll have a brownie with that, too. Thanks mate."

"Sure, coming right up," the barista answered with a smile, "That will be 10 pounds."  
Sirius paid, and took the small tray from her, trying his hardest not to spill it on the surrounding café patrons as he walked back to their table at the back of the room.

"Ta-dah," he said, setting it in front of Remus.

"Oh, thank God, chocolate. The real work can start now," he exclaimed before taking a big bite out of the brownie.  
He was still wiping the crumbs off his face as he began outlining their work. "Okay, so I was thinking we could start by looking through these for a few sources. I also found a few papers online, I'll send them to you..."

The next few hours went by fairly quickly. They worked well together, Remus's chocolate-driven concentration and diligence somehow meshing well with Sirius's messier but effective creativity. Halfway through, they refilled their cups of tea and ordered another brownie ("fuel for the brain", according to Remus), so Sirius wasn't surprised when Remus got up to use the restroom. He decided to take a break too, they had been working for almost four hours, he realized. Not for the first time, he thanked his lucky star that he had met Remus on their first day of class. He hadn't expected night school for a management degree to be so difficult, and without the other man to keep him on task and remind him of assignment deadlines, he would probably have flunked out weeks ago. As it was now, he was scraping by, even getting an A minus on one of their joint papers. Plus, he enjoyed getting to know Remus outside of class.

Speaking of which, he saw the top of his purple beanie making his way back to their table through the 5PM crowd. But when Remus's face came into view, he had on a pained expression, and his hands shook as he fumbled for his tea.

"You okay?" Sirius asked, trying to seem casual.

Remus gave a series of small coughs, "Yes, I'm fine, better be heading home soon though, I've still got a heap of papers to grade tonight." But just saying that sentence had left him out of breath. 

"Sure," Sirius agreed, relieved that Remus wasn't trying to push through whatever was making him so pale and shaky, "Want a lift home?"

"I thought you didn't have a car?" Remus managed to croak out in between coughing fits.

"I don't but James does, and his shift is ending right about now."

"Fine," Remus gave in, "I don't really fancy riding the bus right now." 

Sirius texted James, then set about rounding up his belongings, all the while sneaking glances at Remus. He was also trying to put away his books, but without much success as he kept having to stop to cough. His breathing was sounding increasingly strained, and Sirius finally just put away his books himself. Finally, he spotted James's car outside the window, and nudged Remus, "C'mon, James is here.

The other man protested feebly as Sirius picked up both their bags, but it only earned him a pointed look. They made their way out of the café, and the cold winter air seemed to ease Remus's breathing for a second, but he was already having another coughing fit by the time they stepped into the car. They both shuffled into the backseat, as someone else was already sitting shotgun. That someone turned out to be Lily, who was wearing a scowl on her face, which turned into a semi-exasperated, semi-concerned frown when she spotted Remus coughing into his sleeve.

"Lupin, are you serious?" she asked.

"No, I am!" Sirius exclaimed, at the same time as James shouted out, "No, he is!" They fistbumped and Lily and Remus both sighed, which sent the latter into yet another coughing fit.

"Did you forget your inhaler?" Lily pressed on.

Remus shook his head, "It's just empty. Refill's at home."

"You just refilled this one three days ago, how much have you been using it?"

"Too much," Remus muttered.

"Okay, that's it, I'm calling our piece of shit landlord tomorrow. We are not going another day without proper heating. It's the middle of February for Christ's sake!"

"You don't have heating?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well we can't all be living in mummy and daddy's all utilities paid flat," Lily answered with a huff.

"Touché," Sirius agreed, "But heating in the winter hardly seems to be a luxury."

"Which is why, I'm sure you're happy I generously gave you a ride," James wasted no time adding.

"Shut it, Potter."

"I'll turn on the seat warmer, and let that speak for itself..."

Lily frowned and crossed her arms, and James winked at Sirius via the mirror. Next to him, Remus was still coughing, but he had also fallen asleep somehow. Sirius winked back at James as he let Remus's head fall onto his shoulder.

* * *

_15 March 2020, Brighton_

"Well, that's it then," James cried out from the toilet, "Ireland's officially on lockdown, while our prick of a prime minister is just letting us die!"

"James, mate, I get the outrage, but can it way until you've done your morning poo?" Sirius shouted back from the kitchen.

"As a matter of fact it cannot! Screw manners, there is literally a pandemic Padfoot!"

"So I've heard. Do you have a Zoom account Prongs?"

"Sirius! For once, live up to your name, and listen to me! The hospital is a war zone, and I will be learning to intubate a patient today! Do you know how bad things have to get for them to trust nurses with this kind of stuff? Pretty fucking bad!"

"James, I hear you okay! Outbreak, millions will die, our government is shite - I'm as upset about it as you are, but frankly, I don't see how ranting while you have a shit and I butter my toast will make much of a difference."

"Fine, but..." The rest of his sentence was drowned out by the sound of the toilet flushing. And when that sound died down, it was only to be replaced by James's extremely off key rendition of the birthday song. 

Sirius sighed. "Prongs, for the love of God, please sing another song."

"You know, I was actually thinking of trying some rap next, but I have to work on my rhythm first, to make sure I can hit forty seconds every time."

"Better yet, actually, don't sing. And don't rap. Just, count in your head maybe?" 

"Hmm..." James pretended to think about it, with his head exaggeratedly cocked to the side, "Yeah, no, I think I'll keep working on the rap. Or maybe go for some Mariah Carey."

"You know, I'm starting to see why Lily might not be able to stand you."

"See, that's where you're wrong, because guess who is picking her up and driving her to work today?"

"Really? And how much did you have to beg for that?" Sirius asked, handing James a piece of toast.

"Actually, she asked. It's recommended we stop taking public transportation, and we're the only ones on day shift this week who live around here."

"I see, so she asked, but it's not so much about you and more about safeguarding public health."

"Exactly! Can you think of anything sexier to do? We're basically germ-fighting superheroes."

"I thought you hated that comparison?"

"I do, but I can say it about myself."

"Aww, baby's first re-appropriation," Sirius cooed.

"Shut up. And either way, I've got to enjoy it while it lasts, because she might be moving soon."

"Moving? Has their landlord shut off the electricity this time?"

"No, they currently have heating, electricity, _and_ water. But she can't stay around Remus, and he doesn't have anywhere else to go, so she's looking for a place to stay. Oh shite, I'm late, she'll kill me! Gotta go, bye, love you Pads and don't forget to wash your hands!"

"What do you mean she can't stay around Remus?" Sirius yelled after him. But James was already halfway down the stairs, practicing his rapping loudly, and only the slamming of the front door answered his question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably stop just writing directly in AO3 and expecting there not to be typos and inconsistencies, but also it's the only way I ever actually finish anything.  
> Anyway, I headcanon James as a hyper, mom friend, healer so I'm excited to explore him being a nurse.  
> Drop me a comment below to let me know if you like this characterization of the Marauders et al.!


	2. Chapter 2

_15 March 2020, Brighton_

Sirius managed to wait all of twenty minutes before calling Remus.

"So, Lily's moving," he announced as soon as the ringing stopped.

"Morning to you too, Sirius," Remus croaked on the other end of the phone. He had clearly just woken up.

"Morning, Remus," Sirius answered impatiently, "But please do explain what her moving has to do with you?"

"Well, you see, I'm actually quite insufferable."

"Right, so Lily, your flatmate of five years, is moving out because she's suddenly realised that you she can't stand you - in the midst of a pandemic, may I add?"

"Sirius," Remus sighed.

"What?" Sirius asked, a certain edge to his voice, "Remus, I'm just worried, alright!"

"Yeah, I know."

Sirius could picture the other man rolling his eyes, and his tone bordered on bitter. So maybe he had been a tad bit protective and inquisitive about his health since his asthma attack at the café. And maybe, as was usually the case with him, he had become quite intense about it all. They did only know each other for a few months after all. 

"Sorry," he backtracked, "I see how it might not be my place to ask you about this. But if you do want to talk about anything, I'm here, okay?"

"Thanks, mate, I appreciate it. And, um, to answer your question: Lily is moving out because she's a nurse, and I'm at risk for this goddamn virus."

"Oh." Sirius felt stupid for not putting two and two together. A tight knot settled in his stomach. "But you're alright?"

"Alright is pretty relative right now. But I'm not sick, that I know of."

Sirius breather an inward sigh of relief, and said, "Right. Well, good thing our classes are all online now, anyway. And I s'pose schools are bound to close soon too?"

"Probably. I've called in sick for the rest of the week."

"Good," Sirius nodded. "Well, I'll see you for class on Zoom tonight?"

"Sure thing. Um, thanks for checking in, Sirius."

"'Course, it's what friends do. See you, Remus."

He hung up, but bit his lip as Remus's contact, with his annoyingly cute picture at the center of it, stared back at him. He did call because he was a friend, and the middle of a pandemic was hardly the time to try and see whether Remus would want anything more than that, but he still felt annoyed at himself for saying it out loud. Maybe he needed some lessons from James on explicitness - he doubted Lily ever had to wonder whether James felt anything more than friendship for her. Then again, she did also avoid him most of the time if possible. So maybe a middle ground might be necessary there.

* * *

_21 March 2020, Brighton_

Sirius heard James's key turn in the front door lock just as he drained the last of the pasta water into the sink. "Dinner's ready, love!" he called out from the kitchen. But as he mixed in the sauce and set the table, no footsteps followed in the creaky wooden staircase. He called out again, "Oi, Prongs, I know you've had a long shift, but this pasta won't stay hot forever!"

No answer. He started walking down the stairs. He found James at the bottom, his tan face gone two shades lighter than usual. He was sitting with his back against the front door, taking in short, shallow breaths. His hands were shaking in his lap, the keys discarded next to him on the floor. Sirius hurried down the last few steps, talking in a reassuring voice, "Deep breaths, Prongs, you're having a panic attack, but you're safe." He went to wrap an extra coat from the hanger around him, as he knew James like to hug something around himself when he had an attack, but the young nurse flinched away from him, shaking his head. 

"Don't touch me, Sirius!" he managed to gasp out.

"Okay," Sirius answered, dropping the coat and putting his hands up, "I'm just going to sit over here," he said, lowering himself onto the last step, the wood creaking under his weight, "Can you just take some deep breaths for me? Maybe put your hands on the floor?"

James obliged, and his breathing started to calm down. Sirius slid him the coat across the floor, and this time he took picked it up gingerly. Both boys sat in the darkness silently for a few minutes, only James's increasingly less erratic breathing filling the room. Finally, he spoke up, "Can you start the shower? As hot as possible. Please," he added, a strange edge to his voice.

"Sure, you gonna be okay coming up?"

James nodded wearily.

Five minutes later found James stepping into the bathroom in his underwear, still visibly shivering. 

"What?" Sirius asked, before shaking his head, "Nevermind, you can explain after. The water's boiling, so please try not to boil yourself alive. And call out if you need anything, okay mate?"

Sirius started to walk back towards the kitchen, but he was distracted by the sound of the washing machine. He had done laundry yesterday, and was quite positive he would remember putting a load on today, so James must have set it himself, in the few minutes between getting up from his spot by the front door to getting into the shower. And sure enough, it was his clothes - green scrubs, two coats, a hoodie, and a pair of socks - swirling around in the soapy water. The settings panel had the water at 90 degrees. Sirius had to stop himself from barging into the bathroom and asking James for some explanation. Instead, he continued making his way to the kitchen, where he had left his phone, and texted their mum. 

**S: "Hiya Phemes. Think we need to have a call tonight - Skype around 10?"**

Euphemia answered right away.

**E: "Sure. Everything alright with you two? xx Mum."**

**S: "Yes and no. But nothing urgently wrong, just need to talk to you I think. See you later!"**

**E: "I will try not to worry until then."**

Sirius sent back a heart and put his phone down just as James walked into the room. He was wearing a pair of old sweatpants and some ratty band tee-shirt Sirius was pretty sure he had owned since sixth form, which was partly hidden by one of his dad's old woolen cardigans. Since his dad was about twenty centimeters taller and broader than him, it looked somewhat ridiculous. But he had gained back some colour, and his dark brown eyes didn't look quite so spooked behind his glasses anymore. Sirius gestures at his chair, "Come, sit, have some food."

They began eating in silence. James was only picking at his pasta, although he must have been starving after his twelve hour shift. Sirius decided not to comment on this. Instead, he said, "I texted Phemes. We're calling at 10." 

James did not protest, which told Sirius his hunch that this had something to do with work was right. He was private about his panic attacks, never hiding that he had them, but preferring not to discuss them in detail with most people. But when he had problems at work, he usually talked them out with his mum, a recently retired anesthesiologist. 

As they continued eating their meal, then cleared away the dishes, and turned on the computer to Skype with their mum, Sirius chattered on about his day, knowing it would at least offer some distraction from whatever was running through James's head. Finally, Euphemia picked up.

She was sitting in the Potter's large living room in her pyjamas and a flowered robe, looking at the camera from over her glasses. Her husband stood behind her with a hand on her shoulder. 

"Evening boys," she said. 

"Hullo Phemes," Sirius answered. James also mumbled hello.

An uneasy silence settled on the line. Fleamont cleared his throat, "Well, the dishes won't clean themselves, I better get to it," and walked out the frame. 

"Same here," Sirius added. He walked to the kitchen sink, from which he could still see James, and he gave his friend a pointed look. He was sure Euphemia was doing the same through the screen

James sighed, and started speaking hesitantly, "We... The first... One of our colleagues died today." He took a deep breath. "I didn't really know him, but he got me coffee once, at the caf. He was only forty," he finished, his voice breaking on the last word. 

Sirius imagined Euphemia nodding gravely through the screen. He realised he was staring at James and that the soapy plate he was holding was dripping all over the floor. He put it back into the sink, but did not start washing anything else. 

James continued, "I haven't been able to get tested yet, and I know I might not have it - probably don't have it - but what if I do? And what if I infect Sirius?"

All of the sudden, the load in the washing machine made sense. And finally, all of James's ranting the past few weeks clicked in Sirius's mind. He wasn't just being James, stuck in his world of healthcare and public health, worried about things that might never happen. This was real. Sirius had known somehow - how could you not, when it was the sole topic of conversation these days - but now he felt the full weight of this fact hit him. He had lost track of the Potters' conversation, which had veered to more technical medical topics, so he went back to methodically scrubbing the dishes, thoughts racing through his mind, going through all the information he had soaked up from the news and from James's rants to try and make sense of it all. He still didn't understand everything, but by the time James called him over to bid Euphemia good night, he was sure of two things: he had to be there for James, somehow - it was his turn to support his brother, after everything he had done for him - and he had to call Remus back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? 
> 
> I wanted to write this because the pandemic/quarantine somehow remind me of the first wizarding war as it's described in the books: this feeling of fighting something insidious, unseen yet deadly, and of having to hole up in hiding, with some people risking it all to fight the "enemy". 
> 
> But at the same time, I'm trying not to be too dramatic for the sake of drama and to portray something real - but while I have experienced something similar to what Sirius is living through here (knowing some people in healthcare and some "at risk" people), I have not actually been in the latter two situations myself, so if anything is incorrect or uncomfortable to you, please let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

_22 March 2020_

Sirius woke up at the crack of dawn. As he watched the coffee swirl around the French press, bathed in the early morning sunshine that seeped through the kitchen window, his foggy mind was already growing restless. James had gone to bed the night before shortly after hanging up with Euphemia, but Sirius had felt wide awake. He had had to resort to tiring himself out with bad reality TV, until he had fallen into fitful sleep around 3 AM. He checked his watch: 6:30 AM. He had a feeling Remus was probably an early riser (school teachers had to be, right?), but this was probably still an unacceptable time to make a non-emergency phone call on a Sunday. He pressed down the filter and watched the coffee grains pool at the bottom of the recipient before pouring himself some of the amber liquid into a mug. It was James's, stating in a cheeky pink script, "Kiss me, I'm a nurse."

Sirius sighed and opened the news app on his phone. It was rather bleak, headline after headline deploring new losses to the pandemic, but also demonstrating the government's ineptitude in doing much of anything about it, in what seemed like a giant fuck you to Sirius, who still could not get the picture of his best friend slumped against their front door, hyperventilating, out of his mind. He shut the news app with a huff, and decided to work on his latest assignment instead. He would call Remus at nine, he decided, which left him about two hours to get some work done.

* * *

Time could not have moved slower even if magic intervened - Sirius swore ever second lasted a lifetime as he watched the last few minutes of the hour tick by. Finally, the clock struck 12 (literally, the cuckoo had been a moving in gift from James's parents), and he anxiously picked up his phone. But before he managed to unlock it, the damned machine started ringing silently: Unknown Caller. Sirius swore under his breath. But, maybe it was a client - the garage was still open for emergencies, and it was his number on the website, mostly because his boss didn't want to be bothered by customers, and Sirius got to enjoy a free phone plan. He picked up.

"Good morning, you've reached Sirius Black, of Hogwarts Motors, how may I help you?"

"Sirius? It's Lily."

"Lily? Well, hello, to what do I owe the honour?"

He heard the young woman take in a deep breath before saying, "I need a favour Sirius. It's a pretty big one. And technically, I should ask James, but..."

"You wouldn't be able to bear his excitement when you asked?"

"Something like that, yes," she admitted, "How did you know?"

"I think I know what favour you're going to ask for, and I was just about to propose the same. But I'll admit I was just going to ring Remus, because one, I don't have you number, and two, I'm not shy like you are," he added with a smirk.

Lily gave a dry little laugh, that sounded more like a cough, and Sirius snapped out of his teasing mood when he remembered exactly what was bringing around this phone call.

"Right, shall we talk arrangements then?" he asked, "I was thinking that James would go to yours, and Remus could come here."

Lily acquiesced, "It makes the most sense, we live closer to the hospital, and you two will be spending more time at home than us either way, you deserve the bigger place. It's a good thing I phoned first, because Remus would have never agreed. And even now, I don't see how I could even suggest it. He's already feeling so guilty about me having to move out for his sake."

"He'll have to see it's the only way! And we'll have some more room to stay apart here, as long as I still have to go to work," Sirius replied grimly.

"You're right. I'm glad to hear you're to hear you're taking this seriously, Sirius, it's a headache, this whole situation is. I barely slept last night. And now I'm just sitting in the hallway now with my suitcase, except I have nowhere to go."

"James told me, about what happened."

"You know, I tried to put on a brave face in the car, we both did, but then I got home and I just started bawling. And poor Remus just had to sit in his room and try to comfort me from there, until after I took a shower. If we had a chimney, I think I might've just gone and burned my scrubs. God, sorry, Sirius, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this."

"We do have a chimney, so please don't tell James about that idea. And don't apologise. I...I didn't understand, until yesterday. But I do now. And I want to do my part. Can you explain to Remus? I'll give him a call too after I explain to James."

"Yes, of course. Shall we say this afternoon, right before our shift?"

"The sooner the better. I'll see you at three, Lily."

* * *

A few hours later found James and Sirius scampering around the flat trying to round up James's belongings that he would be taking with him to Lily's. 

"Oi, Sirius, where's my nurse mug?" Sirius heard him call out from the kitchen as he sorted through James's myriad sneakers downstairs to select a few pairs (James had not been able to make the selection himself, could not bear leaving any of his "babies" behind).

Grabbing three pairs at random, Sirius made his way back up the stairs, "It's in the sink, I used it this morning. Are you really going to bring that, mate?"

"It's my favourite mug," he replied innocently. 

"Hmm, I'm starting to see why Lily didn't want to ask you herself, you smarmy bastard. And of course you do know that Remus's bedroom is not so much a room as it is a bed behind a curtain in what should have been the living room?"

"As a matter of fact I did not," James replied haughtily, "And how did you know, this, pray tell, Sirius?" he added, narrowing his eyes.

"Ah. Well, I was a few weeks ago, if you must know."

"Who's the smarmy bastard now! And how come you didn't tell me?"

"Lily may or may not have made me promise to, and I quote, 'Never let Potter know you've been in my house, or I'll end you.'" 

"She is such a charming young lady. But you're still a git, and now you owe me. What was her room like? Did they have magazines in their toilet?"

"See, I think this might have something to do with her not wanting you to know I'd been there. But cheer up, buttercup, you'll know soon enough."

"Hmph. Well, she must be warming up to me, as she's basically invited me over for a permanent sleep over."

"Or there's a pandemic going on... But whatever floats your boat, mate. Now come, shove your mug in with the shoes, and we'll get going."

"Wait, I forgot to get that nice bottle of wine Mum and Dad gave me last month," he said, running off to find it in one of the cupboards.

"Pandemic, James," Sirius reminded him. He took this time to glance at his phone. No new notification. He had tried to call Remus earlier, but the lad hadn't picked up, although he had sent a text to let him know he was busy packing, thanks for the offer, and he would see Sirius later. Sirius was tempted to call again, to let Remus know they would be on their way soon, and to gauge the other man's mood, but he resisted. This was probably the only time Remus wouldn't have to suffer his presence for the next few weeks, if not months, so it was only fair to give him some alone time.

* * *

Sirius pulled up into the small street with his bike a few seconds before James did, parking his motorbike into a narrow spot, and pulling off his helmet to reveal his dark hair, which he shook out as he took a look around him. The houses that lined the street were quite generic, obviously not too modern and a little decrepit, but also had their charm. He could see why Remus, with his professorial air and love for chocolate, tea, and cozy jumpers, would love living here, despite the curtain-for-a-door situation. 

James stepped out of his car, and Sirius went over to help him get his bags. Then they walked together to the front door. 

"Right, well, here we go," said Sirius.

But neither moved to ring the doorbell. The two men looked at each other. Sirius dropped his bag, and put his arms around his best friend. He half expected James to push him off, but instead he gave into the hug. Sirius inhaled his scent in, and gave a little cough, "Whew, you went a bit heavy on the cologne there. Giving off a strong first impression, eh?" he joked.

"I think it's too late for that," James answered with a grin.

They looked at each other once more, and sobered up. 

"Call me, if there's anything, okay? I mean it. And don't forget to call your mum."

"I will," James answered, "I swear sometimes the two of you are talking behind my back. I'll be alright Sirius, really. Don't forget to call her either."

"I won't."

Sirius rang the doorbell, and Lily answered immediately. James picked up both of his bags, and headed up the first flight of stairs. Sirius waved when he reached the first floor, then lowered his hand as his friend disappeared out of sight. That was it, the last they might see of each other for months, and he couldn't help but worry, the sight of him slumped against their front door the night before still fresh in his mind. But he chased away that thought. They didn't have a choice. He'd read on the news that morning that hospitals were starting to commandeer hotels to host front line workers. James and Lily would be better off here, plus who knows, they might even get along. 

He didn't have much time to linger on these thoughts, because a few minutes later, there was Remus, struggling down the stairs with a large duffel bag in each hand. Sirius jogged up the steps to meet him halfway down the last flight and take one from him.

"Let me guess, books?"

"You're a wildly perceptive man, Sirius Black."

"Or you're just easy to perceive, Remus Lupin."

"Touché. And hello, by the way."

Sirius tipped his helmet, which he was still holding in his other hand, "Top of the afternoon to you."

One of Remus's eyebrows shot up as he noticed the helmet. 

"Up for a motorcycle ride?" Sirius asked mischievously.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not unless you'd like to walk home."

"And my bags?"

"She has a side car."

"She?"

Sirius led him over to the bike, "Remus, meet Elvendork," he announced proudly. 

"Erm, hullo?"

"That's the spirit," said Sirius, patting him on the back as he secured the duffel bags in the side car. "Now, here's your helmet, just sit tight and hold on to me and you'll be fine."

"I thought this whole little exchange was meant to keep us safe, not potentially get us killed," muttered Remus.

"What was that, dear?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Right, where to then?"

"Home, I assume you know the address?"

"Straight away, are you sure?" Sirius turned around to look at his passenger, "I don't mean to be dramatic Remus, but from what I understand, this might be your last taste of freedom for a while."

"Then don't be," the other man answered drily. "Sorry," he amended, "I've been trying not to think about it. But you're right, it probably is. Let's see then... It's Sunday, so all my favourite bookstores are closed, and the cafés are, too. The pier will be full of people, I reckon, so that's off limits... I don't know, Sirius, maybe we just ought to be careful, and go home, instead of pushing back the inevitable."

"No, I know just the place. Do you trust me?"

Sirius could almost feel the icey blue eyes piercing into the back of his skull.

"Yes," Remus answered finally.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they stood at the edge of a cliff, the cold sea wind whipping in their faces. Sirius led them silently to a flat rock, and they sat down. 

"I come here when I need space to think. I hope this is okay," he explained after a few minutes.

"It's perfect."

The sound of the waves crashing down on the base of the rocks was hypnotizing, and they did not speak until Sirius broke the silence again.

"Are you scared?" Remus didn't stir, and Sirius regretted the brash question. "You don't have to answer that. If you don't want to."

"No, it's okay," he turned around to face the other man. "I am scared. Terrified, even. I know I haven't explained - maybe Lily did, I don't know - but I haven't just got asthma, I've got a lot of other jargony illnesses, none of which do too good with a deadly respiratory disease, so, yeah. I'm expecting correspondence from the NHS any day now."

"I'm sorry."

Remus shook his head, "You know, maybe it's stupid, but getting sick is only half of what's terrifying me. The other half is that they'll just forget about us. Or, just tell us to keep shielding and isolating forever. I'm twenty-five. I'm a teacher. And after this course, I want to open my own bookstore. And I've been sick long enough to know there are no guarantees, but now, it's like even if I'm not sick, or not more than usual, I might not get to do this. I might not get to live my life."

Blue eyes pierced black ones. A seagull cried out. Waves broke on the cliffs. Sirius placed his hand on Remus's. 

"May I?" 

Remus nodded. They sat there hand in hand until the sun slipped away behind a cloud.

"Let's go home," Remus said resolutely.

And so they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a busy few weeks, but I haven't forgotten about this fic!  
> I'll keep working on the next chapters, although it may take a while.  
> Thank you so much for your comments/kudos, keep letting me know what you think, it makes me super happy!
> 
> And hang in there everyone!


	5. Epilogue - Breathe easy today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't take the lockdown angst right now. So I wrote Remus and Sirius in the virus free future instead. Enjoy the fluff?

_21 June 2021 - Somewhere in Scotland_

"Do you think we'll make it back for the wedding in time?" Sirius yelled from the front of the motorbike.

"Yes!" Remus shouted back, "It's literally in two weeks!"

They were pulling up to the top of a cliff, the wind blowing hard into their faces. Sirius steered them into a small observation spot by the side of the road. Taking off his helmet, revealing damp black hair cascading down his leather-clad shoulders, he turned around.

"Well, I have big plans for us," he smirked.

Slightly out of breath, Remus pulled off his own helmet. Sirius silently handed him his inhaler. Remus used it while taking in the view - mountains, lakes, and valleys to the horizon, and a wide blue sky above. All this space, just for them - no, not even. They could share it. They could share the space, and the air, finally.

"The view - it literally took my breath away," he joked. Sirius laughed, kissing the back of his hand.

Remus tried to laugh too, but the sound died in his throat, transforming somehow into a sob. And then he was crying, and laughing, hysterically, right there in the middle of the highlands. 

"We made it!" he yelled, "We fucking made it!"

Sirius just held his hand, and they stayed there, breathing, living. 

* * *

Later that night saw them back at the hostel, sitting side by side huddled in a blanket. The courtyard was far from empty - about a dozen other guests had gathered around the fire pit for the longest day of the year. The sky had remained mercifully clear throughout the day, and now, as the sun set slowly, casting its purple and orange glow, stars appeared shyly, reticent lights in the night skies. 

"There's yours," Remus pointed out to Sirius. 

"Only because all the other ones are yours," he replied.

"God, we're cheesy today."

"Well, I reckon we're allowed. Having survived a pandemic and all."

"Guess we are. Sirius, I -"

"Don't. You don't have to thank me. All I did was be there. If anything, thank Lily and James. Me - I'm just glad I get to be there for you a while longer. I'm just a lucky bastard."

"It is just luck isn't it? Over two million people, and none of them were me. Or you, or Lily, or James. It's like, fuck, what did we do to deserve it?"

"Nothing - nothing at all. I mean, except for being, to varying degrees, White, young, healthy, and middle class."

"Yeah..." Remus sighed, "Except for that."

"But hey, we're here now," Sirius reminded him with a small bump of the shoulder, "And we have to honor that. You know I'll be right there with you if you want to go light some shit on fire, or go to protests, or go to really boring meetings with government officials. But right here, right now, I want to breathe in this air with you. I want to feel the warmth of the fire on our skins. I want to dance under these motherfucking stars, and I want to stare into your eyes - because we are beautiful, and we are alive!"

Remus looked up with a smirk at his empassioned boyfriend, who had deserted their blanket to stand on the bench as he delivered his little speech loudly enough to attract the attention of most of the other guests. A few of them whooped, and someone turned the music that had been playing out of a small speaker up louder. Three girls got up and started dancing.

"Alright you, that's enough of the whiskey, I think," said Remus, pushing the bottle they had been sharing away, but getting up to join Sirius on the bench. "We are. We are alive. And I'm also a lucky bastard, for getting to stick around. Wouldn't want to leave when it's just getting good," he whispered, holding Sirius's scruffy cheeks with his two cold hands. "I love you. I love you a whole fucking lot, Sirius Black." 

* * *

_22 June 2021 - Somewhere else in Scotland_

It was a cold morning, but a sunny one. The seemingly infinite nature offered itself to them once again. It was life, free from the walls of their flat. Free from the fear of the dreaded virus. Remus inhaled the fresh air. His lungs felt not too shitty, he could breathe easy today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might come back to this later and add more chapters in between, but for now at least I gave these two (and Lily and James) a happy ending. Let's hope we can get one too, sooner rather than later.


End file.
